Sundry to Sunday

Something

2009-09-08T09:08:00.002-04:00

This song by the Beatles was written by George and is credited as something as his coming of age song. I always liked it, but the video really brings home to me that the group was very much near the end while suggesting that the change was simply the way of life.

In the video the Beatles are never together, they're with their wives and that's how it should be. I get a kind of Edenesque vibe from the footage and it makes me a little sad to know that their lives did indeed go on and end in death or divorce, happiness and sorrow. Its weird to know that I and my friends from childhood are now where they were then: I'm happy, I'm married, I'm different, and there is a future for me that is very different from the past. I've changed and those around me have changed.

I don't know what the future will be for us, but it will be something.

Here

2009-08-14T22:39:00.002-04:00

Not that much to say
It might not matter anyway
I've got a lot to do
but none of it means much to you
I guess I could get lost
Seems more more and more I'm being tossed
All my edges have been frayed

They say time can heal all wounds.
Its what we're waiting for.
Somewhere to start from.

I've lost my resolve
I'm just not willing to evolve.
This suit I call my skin
Is something I'm fine living in.
Don't tell me its all right
I sleep like I'm dead every night.
Yeah, I could sleep till noon.

They say time can heal all wounds,
but that's a lie.
What do we die from?

By now you might have guessed
That somewhere silent I'm depressed.
I really can't say why.
And if I did I wouldn't cry.
My feelings are all nerves
Electric shocks that I deserve
keep crawling up my skin.

2009-05-15T07:59:00.002-04:00

Today is a new day, and I am going to keep busy. I have time, do I have discipline?

2009-05-07T07:06:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure if I'm exactly happy to see that I'm not the only one who doesn't update his/her blog, but I am surprised at my own recent desire to make contact. Maybe its just been because I've been stuck in "finals" world, but these days I really miss Sunday afternoons with Youth Group. Gone, they are as a muppet would say.

Still, its nice to have facebook, twitter, gmail...etc. If not exactly communication, they remind me that life continues on for everybody else as well as myself.

In any case, know that I'm thinking of you.

2009-05-04T09:54:00.003-04:00

Celebrity, as a rule, sounds holy.
The celestial bodies in dazzling lights.
At once, they are in front of us and distant.

On celestial bodies we see ourselves,
Pattern meaning,
Worship.

Like all things,
Our stars rise and fall:
Every one.
We look for meaning.

Celebrity sounds holy.
Celestial bodies,
Celluloid slides,
Off empty canvas
And onto our lives,
While we search for meaning,
Or proof that there's none.

2009-04-23T15:47:00.003-04:00

It's amazing how long I can just wander around on the internet wishing there was something interesting to read before I get my fingers moving to write something. This isn't that something interesting, by the way. I just need to start talking to break the awful silence that develops when I'm simply listless. I have school to go to, work do, lots to keep myself busy. How about you? Are you wasting your time reading this, or did you miss me?

Monday

2009-04-20T08:13:00.001-04:00

Back in the States. I have a lot to do. A lot to learn. Time to focus. Sentences short. Coffee strong.

2009-04-09T09:00:00.006-04:00

Well, we're heading to London tomorrow. Pretty unbelievable. I think we'll have a good time. I'm ready to set my feet down on a new continent (or an old one, I suppose). I think my greatest secret hope is that I'll learn a lot and it will inspire me to learn even more. I hate when I get lazy. Speaking of which, I have a day to execute. Picking up the cross and all that...

Living in the Moment

2009-04-01T08:21:00.002-04:00

I wonder what it was like for Jesus day by day?

As a child, did he know he was a son of God in a much more literal sense than his peers? I know he explained to his parents that he was about his father's business at the temple, but I still think there must have been a gradual acquisition of the truth of his identity. I can't imagine 2 year old Jesus rehearsing his ride into Jerusalem on a stuffed animal, but I can imagine him playing carpenter, warrior, preacher... although his play acting was probably much less futile since he is many, many things: Prophet, Priest, and King.
I'm sure he was different as a child since he didn't have the whole sin problem. However, I don't think many people would have noticed how different he was. When children simply do what they're supposed to and don't show off, they get very little commentary from the community. Can you imagine reading the Bible and realizing that everything in it points to you?
I wonder if Joseph and Mary had to give Jesus "The Sex Talk." What must have that been like? Who's funeral did he first witness? What happened to Joseph?
I know these questions aren't super important but I think they're worth considering because otherwise Jesus can become too abstract. God in the flesh is the crux of the Gospel and the interaction between humanity and deity is important to take into account if it is the life we are to imitate.

Save me

2009-03-18T09:34:00.003-04:00

And so, I am sad to discover that I have not had God first in my life. Again, I feel listless, unmotivated. An hour and a half is gone and I have nothing to show for it. I have yet to shower which also seems fitting. I do not like this feeling of separateness unless it is from the world. Now it is from myself and my God. My sins are petty, and I believe more insulting for it.

Here I am weak, Lord. Show me your strength.

Jesus is Mocking You

2009-03-09T08:06:00.002-04:00

I was thinking about the fruits of the spirit when another thought crossed my mind.

Jesus thinks I'm dirt.

"And when much people were gathered together, and were come to him out of every city, he spake by a parable: a sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it. And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture. And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it. And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold. And when he had said these things, he cried, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear."—Luke 8:4-8.

I count three main elements in this parable–the sower, the seed, the ground. The sower represents God, Jesus, a preacher. The seed must be the Gospel, the quality of which is not an issue in this parable. Then there's the dirt, but lets not assume all dirt is the same.
There's the wayside, worldly, trodden dirt. This dirt probably believes itself to be open minded as it watches a thousand "isms" wander by. It is walked over and shit on but never moved. It holds its integrity as dirt, and the gospel will not penetrate this person.
The rock is lifeless, isolated, still dirt. Coarse. Removed enough that seed may sprout, but the rock cannot conceive to nurture it. A withered carcass of the gospel remains and the rock cannot even water it with tears.
Among the thorns, dirt forgets itself. It doesn't see itself, it is spent on its own "crop." And though it grows abundantly it does not see that its harvest is worthless and destined for fire. It would gladly take the gospel and work it into its own cultivation plans, not realizing the supremacy this plant demands and resigned to see it choked off by "stronger" crops.
Are you good dirt? Are you removed enough from the beaten path? Has the plow cut you deep and stirred you up? Would you pursue the truth if it were given you? Are you willing to look for a harvest that does not belong to you? Are you aware of your dirtiness?
This is your seed, "Jesus Christ-God as Man, lay down his life for your sake and took it up again. Follow Him."

2009-03-08T22:54:00.002-04:00

So, the world is on fire. Is that anything new?
When the flames get close to you

In the dark, we find our answers hewn
From awful trees where saviors swoon

In desperate joy I heave and sigh
And pray to live where others die

Too suddenly I turn. I turn to hope
while through my fingers slides the rope
And moments lost begin to pile
In rivers flooded in denial.

2009-02-25T18:19:00.002-05:00

Guh,

Guess I have a lot of things on my chest, but I don't even know where to begin.

So I won't.

I am looking forward to going to the Markoya's in a few minutes. Hamburgers and ice cream are the only thing I want in the world right now. I just got back from a brisk bike ride with Abby. The dog can run.

I won't go into it now, but I am feeling extra awake lately, and its a little bit of scary feeling–a feeling that makes me want to stay in bed though I know I shouldn't.

And that is my startlingly non-specific post!

Almost a sonnet

2009-01-29T05:34:00.001-05:00

A poem a day keeps the demon at bay:
The fickle, stubborn thing
Stymies my work until I play–
Impairs until I sing.
The fickle bird scorns every word;
Its hollow breast gives sigh.
I grimace that it has the nerve
To twitter while I try.
Worse than this, I must persist
To wrestle 'neath its feet.
This tyrant smaller than my fist
Provokes my heart to beat.
Soon assuaged, it flies away,
Plotting its return.
And I engaged, trapped on a page,
Would like to see it burn...

Lincoln

2008-12-18T09:55:00.001-05:00

Oh Captain, My Captain!
A memory dead.
A sedative of liberty
Taken by head.
The sweet taste of victory
forever bereft.
A heart now retired
deep in you chest,
sealed, cemented,
somehow alive.
Why else would we struggle;
Why else would we strive
To measure our passions
Against one so grave
And ask anymore
When you already gave
A life?
You haunt us.
So rigid,
Hands no longer grasp.
The United States
Writhes on the grass.
You tower, apocalypse,
But no strength remains,
trussed up by the centuries
that still bear the stain
of blood– life blood.
How would you judge
If you could?
Seated so long,
We paraded before you;
You heard every song.
Would you rise from the throne;
Come down from the mountain;
Bless us,
Or leave us penniless?

She'll be there for you..

2008-12-10T13:34:00.003-05:00

If you consider yourself a fan of "Friends" and a smart person, you may want to check out what Lisa Kudrow has been up to. It's a free web series called "Web Therapy" where she plays a psychiatrist starting a practice on the internet. It proves that Lisa has talent and brains that her sitcom career only grazed. Enjoy.

2008-12-08T20:54:00.001-05:00

Great Story. Will make you happy but not puke happy.

Missing

I'm trapped inside a horrible Disney ...

2008-12-03T01:53:00.001-05:00

A Dog's Life

   I'm trapped inside a horrible Disney movie. If your thinking "Shaggy Dog," you're barking up the right tree.
    I noticed it first that morning in my legs. They felt suspended and thin. I rolled over with unusual difficulty but drifted again back to sleep. The clock kept ticking. It sounded broken, like the motor was moving a two-by-four instead of second hand. I tried to cover my ears and that's when I completely freaked out. I spasmed wildly, throwing myself out of bed head first. I lay on the floor stunned. I felt a bizarre ridged feeling that traveled somehow beyon my spine; my mouth felt hot, like I had a warm sponge jammed in it. My lower leg began to twitch in a passive circle almost on its own.
    Sasha, my dog, ran around the bed and froze at the sight of me. She doubled in size; a low growl, as overpowering as a sub-woofer, filled my ears.
    "Sasha! Quite!" my wife yelled into her pillow. "Baby, what are you doing?"
    "Baby?"
   Why was she still talking into her pillow?
    Her head peaked over, she screamed, jumped off the bed, into the bathroom and locked the door, sobbing. I could hear her calling for me but everything sounded garbled except for Sasha's bark which exploded into a cacophony of agitation. I didn't know what to do. I kicked violently and managed to right myself which frightened Sasha and sent her to the other side of the room. I managed to stand up on all fours but found myself facing the wall with little room to navigate in the space beside our bed. I awkwardly spun around which introduced me to my tail. It swished happily at the recognition.
    The bedroom suddenly felt like a series of rooms and hallways. Around the corner, Sasha clawed at the door to escape me. Thank God we bought a sissy lab and not a pit-bull. I lowered my head and tried to think about keeping my ears down. It felt really weird. I approached her slowly and she peed on the floor, exactly what I was hoping to avoid. The smell was instant and solid as a wall. I contorted my face violently trying to block the assault. Stupid. I should have let her come to me. But my wife was still calling for me from the bathroom on the other side of the bed. Since going around the bed was now out of the question, I suddenly realized I could go over it.
    Getting my wife out of the bathroom took a while. Learning to accept my transformation took even longer. After numerous vet visits, a missing persons investigation, a chaotic media circus that eventually dwindled, the issue eventually settled down. We decided to let most people think I'm missing.
    I probably have only eight years to live which will be shortly after I'm declared legally dead. But we work it out the best we can. Thankfully, she's stayed with me even though a number of guys have tried to hit on her on our walks. I let them know they're not welcome, and she pats my head and shows them her wedding ring. Mine is attached to my collar. It isn't easy for either of us and I sometimes have to fight against some rather bizarre urges which I won't go into here.
    As a dog, life isn't too bad. No human will ever understand how amazing it feels to run across a field with four legs at full tilt. Fire-hydrants work a lot like chat-rooms and car rides are like channel surfing on drugs. I do a lot of police-work for the state after we arranged a rather unorthodox contract and we sometimes travel to New York for the occasional acting gig. As far as food goes, well, I've always been easy to please.
    Not everything is easy: we switched doorknobs and lowered light switches; we had to put in carpet instead of linoleum; I have a skin condition that sucks. We do our best. Sasha and I get along okay, but remaining dominant around other dogs frightens me a little. Not because I'm scared of them but I don't like how I change. We keep me away from other dogs.
     Being a dog robs me of normal human interaction. I have difficulty understanding my wife and speaking is out of the question. Fortunately, I can still read so with the help of a floor computer and a custom keyboard, I remain fairly communicative. I've kept up a correspondence with Cesar Milan from "The Dog Whisperer" which has proven helpful in ways he does not expect. He thinks I'm a gifted trainer.
     Would I go back to being a human if I could? Without question. My life isn't bad, but it's a dog's life.

I am Iron Man

2008-11-23T08:31:00.002-05:00

Finally saw the movie. I knew I would like it and I did but I was surprised at the ending. I was supposed to hate the ending. All my friends with similar movie taste told me, "I loved the movie until the last line, then I was like ughh." If you haven't seen it I am about to spoil it.

Ready.

You've got two seconds...

and...

Tony Stark tells the press he's Iron Man.

To me, no big deal. In fact I think it was a great idea. That's one less superhero with the incredibly overplayed dual identity motif. Maybe it's because I'm not as familiar with Tony Stark but in the context of the film, I thought it was pitch perfect. The whole thing was about him dedicating his life to something worthwhile and he doesn't have the kind of personality to put that in the background.

Anyway, loved the movie, and would love to discuss this issue with all who think I'm crazy.

Let's use this sucker

2008-11-14T06:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I initially started this blog as a way to post questions for a Bible study, but now I'm realizing cool people keep blogs (and even cooler people check them!). I'm looking forward to the holidays, especially since many people that I've missed should be in the area. Shweet!

We went to bed crazy early last night, so I'm feeling really good right now. Hope everyone else is doing okay!

2008-08-18T17:31:00.000-04:00

Read Genesis 14:8-24

1. What is your impression of the world of Abram's time?

2. Why might have Abram given a portion to Melchizedek?

3. What details interested you in this passage?

Read Psalm 110

4. The writer (David) speaks of the LORD and my Lord, referring to God the Father and Christ the Son. With this in mind, what has been fulfilled and what has yet to be fulfilled?

5. The Lord is compared to dew. What does that mean? What other miracles occurred in the morning/at dawn?

Read Luke 20: 34-44

6. When facing death, it is popular to say that death is part of life. Would Jesus agree with this? Why does the coming age concern us?

(Bonus) How would you answer Jesus' question?

Read Hebrews 7

7. You have now read everything the Bible says about Melchizedek. How is he important? Why is so little written about him?

8. Why does the writer of Hebrews stress the supremacy of Melchizedek?

9. In light of this chapter, what purpose is there for the Old Testament?

10. How is Christ's eternal service as High Priest comforting for the Christian?

Read Hebrews 8

11. Do you have any questions about this chapter?

2008-08-04T23:17:00.000-04:00

1. What were some of the characteristics of your favorite teacher?

2. Under what condition would you take skydiving lessons from someone who never had or would do it?

Read Chapter 5

3. Why is it important to have a sympathetic high priest, and a sympathetic high priest?

4. Jesus lineage was not from Aaron. Why would this be difficult for the Jews and good news for the world?

Read Chapter 5:8-9

5. a. Did Jesus earn son-ship?

b. at whose hands, and for what guilt did Jesus suffer?

c. Does "made perfect" mean he was at fault?

d. Why hasn't Jesus always been high priest?

Read 5:14

6. According to this verse, what process must be taking place for us to understand any of this?

Read Chapter 6:1-12

7. What do verse 1-3 talk about?

8. How might you connect the warnings of 4-8 to verse 1-3?

Read 9-12 carefully

9. In your own experience, what do you need to truly invest yourself into something; where do you spend your time?

Read 13-20

10. How do these verses assure us? How does someone keep from drifting?

2008-07-29T01:30:00.000-04:00

Hebrews Chapter 3 and 4

Chapter 1 of Hebrews established that Jesus is superior in position and power to the angels. Chapter 2 warns us to think about and not drift away from the salvation provided through Christ, then outlines the work of Christ as well as our current and future relationship to him.

1. Is there anything from the previous chapters that you would like to remember or talk about?

Read Hebrews 3:1-6

2. The writer calls the readers "holy." Do you consider yourself in a different situation than these early Christians? Do you consider yourself holy?

3. Through what did the Jews traditionally associate holiness?

4. How might this text reassure and challenge the Hebrew believer then, and the Christian today?

Review in the OT: Numbers, Chapter 14 then follow with the rest of Hebrews, Chapter 3.

5. Between the two text, there is a correlation between "land" and "rest." How would you explain this? What might the NT equivalent of "wandering in the desert" be? (Brownie points for looking up "rest" in the dictionary)

6. Numbers 14:20 says that God forgave the people, yet they suffered consequences. Do you see this in your own life?

7.How well and why do you rest?

Read Hebrews Chapter 4

8. Thinking of "rest" as the promise land, what day are we to enter it?

9. What weapon should be used to enter that rest/promise land, and against whom is that weapon used? (Hebrews 4:12,13)

Read Hebrews 4:14-16 again.

10. Why is it important that Christ sympathize with our weakness while remaining perfect?

Close with Matthew 11:25-30

2008-07-29T00:56:00.000-04:00

Hebrews Chapter 1 and 2

1. What seems to be the main point of Chapter 1?

2. According to the text, which of the following is a role of Jesus?

a. Spokesman for God
b. Beneficiary or Heir
c. Creator
d. Representative to God
e. Superior to the angels
f. King
g. "a" and "c"
h. I see what your doing; it's all of them.

3. If this were a resume, what part would the Old Testament play? The New Testament?

Try to get a feel for the context of these verses.

Psalm 2:7; 2Samuel 7:14, 1 Chron. 17:13; Deaut. 32:43; Psalm 104:4; Psalm 45:6,7; Psalm 102:25-27; Psalm 110:1.

4. What is helpful and challenging about reading the referred to text?

Read Hebrews Chapter 2

5. According to verse 1, what is the threat to the Christian, and what is the responsability of the Christian?

Read 2 John 8,9.

6. More than baptism or predestination, what is the one thing the Christian has to absolutely get right?

7. According to Hebrews Chapter 2: 8b, what is the obvious difficulty of being a Christian?

8. Think of when you learned to swim or ride a bike or something else scary and unfamiliar. What's the advantage of someone you trust going first? How nice would it be to have an awesome older brother who is proud of you?

9. The second half of chapter 2 talks about Christ's mission on earth. Does your head hurt?

10. What is one you thing you learned in the second chapter?

Bonus:

Read Luke 22:39-46. An angel strengthens Jesus in his darkest hour. I wonder if he read Isaiah 51:17-23.

How cool is the Bible!?

First time for everything

2008-07-29T00:51:00.000-04:00

The last time I tried anything like this, it was Xanga. I expect equal results.